Breakups can take a toll on your emotional well-being. Just like physical pain, the brain prioritizes the pain that comes with a breakup, which is why your mind cogitates on it. Breakups of any kind can be laborious and excruciating, which makes moving on an agonizing process.
When you emotionally invest in another person, you burn down all the bridges to reach the person. Bringing awareness of why you can’t move on is just a step in helping you heal from a breakup. If you feel stuck and unable to untangle yourself from emotional ties with your ex, here are the five most likely reasons moving on is taking forever.
You are only focused on good memories
Recalling only good times and forgetting the toxic traits that manifested during the relationship can prolong moving on. You simply can’t let go of the positive aspects of the relationship and embrace the reality.
An expert in this field calls this feeling a euphoric call. Euphoric recall is kryptonite to moving on from a breakup because you can’t get over the evening coffees, dinners, mind-blowing love-making moments, or even adventures at the beach with your love.
Getting over a good time can hinder you from looking at life objectively, which can slow down other aspects of your daily routine. According to Iris Dating, if you are having trouble moving on, here’s how to move on from unrequited love – simply stop thinking of the good times and see the real reason for the breakup as it is.
You have grown attached to being with your ex
It is so easy to get comfortable with someone you love without imagining one day they will walk past you like a stranger. During the relationship, you feel loved, sexy, appreciated, and desired. These are good things that you can’t just let go of easily.
Emotional attachment can continue even after the relationship has ended, making moving on tedious. Opening your heart and feelings to someone else makes you obsessed with the other person and have you thinking about them all the time. It will take time to stop thinking and talking about them.
Same circle with your ex
When you and your ex were friends or in the same social circle before the relationship, this may continue after the breakup because it may be unavoidable to brush shoulders from time to time. This can only trigger feelings and memories you shared when they are nearby.
Friends may even make moving on much more difficult because you will not miss events in which your ex must also be present. They’ll also constantly compliment you on your lovie dovie moments.
Fear of rejection
People have generally evolved to fear being rejected, especially in love. We are generally designed for survival and this means not being kicked out or cut off. A breakup elicits the feeling of shame and fear of being unwanted or left out to fend for yourself.
You can’t stand the fact that someone with whom you’ve shared your most intimate moments no longer wants you, which causes you to panic. It is not easy to deal with feelings of rejection very well and may be the main cause of you not moving on.
You haven’t properly grieved
When you experience a loss, there is a tendency to avoid dealing with feelings of pain and breakup. Not addressing the pain caused by the breakup only prolongs the healing process.
Suppressing the feeling only lengthens the amount of time it takes to get over a breakup. Most people drown their sorrows in alcohol or self-medicate with other drugs to avoid dealing with the real issues.